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The Orders of Love

Each family system has its natural order and every family member has his or her own place within the family system. The individual’s rightful place is determined by timing—the one who was born first, comes first. The exception to this rule is a new mate—a new partner replaces the former within the family system. There are times when an individual, out of love, becomes entangled with the fate of an ancestor, and the Orders of Love are interrupted—the effects of which can continue to be experiences for many generations. Each individual is responsible for his or her own destiny, and when the responsibility is ignored—not only is that individual burdened, but the fate of future generations is impacted as well.

The following are some of the Orders of Love:

  • Every individual has an equal right to belong in his or her family system
  • There is a hierarchy in every family system that is determined by birth order—the individual who is born first, comes first
  • Parents give and children take
  • The male takes first position in the family but works in service of the female

The Orders of Love are often broken unconsciously with unintended consequences by one of the following events:

  • When a baby is aborted or miscarried and is not mourned to talked about
  • When a child or young adult dies young and is forgotten and not mourned
  • When a baby is given up for adoption and is no longer talked about or remembered
  • When adoptive parents do not acknowledge the natural parent of their child
  • When previous relationships or partners are not acknowledged between couples
  • When experiences of war are not remembered or honored
  • When a family member is banished or missing
  • When family secrets remain unacknowledged


The ways in which the natural laws can be broken appear to be at odds with much of Western thought which stresses the equality of all. At first glance the Orders of Love appear contrary to equal rights, but when these laws are adhered to harmony results. But when these natural laws are not strictly followed, then disharmony and entanglements occur, resulting in mental or physical illness—and in the worst case, suicide. However, order and harmony can be restored and healed with a Constellation, and can be passed to subsequent generations. But when the natural order is not restored, future generations may develop addictions, mental or physical illness, they may remain childless—or in extreme cases commit suicide. They do these things out of love.




By Dr. Liz Jelinek as a Training Center for Constellations Facilitators
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